my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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