Four minutes until I can fart!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize