Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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