Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
