When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
