I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
