Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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