I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
