Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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