I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
