dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories