i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?