Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger http://tfl.nu/0bs6
  Replies (10) Good night (3827) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well. http://tfl.nu/xnfi
  Replies (46) Good night (4348) Bad night (1836)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party? http://tfl.nu/rikb
  Replies (52) Good night (12850) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again. http://tfl.nu/1vav
  Replies (12) Good night (4425) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them. http://tfl.nu/3ylo
  Replies (5) Good night (2246) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She's clinging to me like a horny koala.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): She's clinging to me like a horny koala. http://tfl.nu/a9hq
  Replies (10) Good night (3460) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick. http://tfl.nu/65g9
  Replies (10) Good night (2546) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself. http://tfl.nu/jcct
  Replies (5) Good night (1299) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen. http://tfl.nu/hdza
  Replies (16) Good night (3966) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being. http://tfl.nu/1bas
  Replies (7) Good night (895) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?! http://tfl.nu/98de
  Replies (13) Good night (1162) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom... http://tfl.nu/xo96
  Replies (4) Good night (856) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/m7ga
  Replies (23) Good night (655) Bad night (2207)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
  Replies (4) Good night (323) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ulnv
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (197)

Randomize