I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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