Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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