was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
