So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
