i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
