Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
only if we run a train.
done.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
