STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
