At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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