You're completely useless in the revolution.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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