You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
