Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
