So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
