Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
do herpes really smell.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
