I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize