whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
