Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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