I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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