The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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