he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
