I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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