My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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