I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
