Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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