I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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