Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
