I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
