just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
