and she was petting her beer can
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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