i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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