And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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