Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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