brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
