Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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