i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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