Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
