You smell like stripper and shame
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
