And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
