reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
