Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
