how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
