smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
