Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
