See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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