glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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