please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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