I don't think brook has ever known best
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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