well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
