We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They took my balls.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
