I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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