The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
