apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
