you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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