If i could tip my vagina, i would.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
