you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
