God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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